TJR: The Mick Foley Hardcore Comedy Tour – Review
By John Canton
Follow me on Twitter @johnreport
On Saturday December 3rd, the Mick Foley Hardcore Comedy Tour rolled into Waterloo, Ontario. If you’ve never heard of Waterloo, which is understandable, it’s about an hour west of Toronto. I was looking forward to the show because obviously I’ve been a huge fan of Foley’s in-ring career, his promos through the years, his books and I’ve heard good things about his comedy shows too. It was a guy’s night out that I know my friends and I were anticipating. I won’t be writing out Foley’s jokes on here or anything like that. It will be a review of what we saw, what was really funny and what the night meant to us.
I went to the show with a couple of buddies and it took us about 90 minutes to find the place. We met up with Steve Melo, who does the graphics for all my columns. In all there were six of us. We got there at around 7pm because that’s when we were supposed to be let into the club, which was called The Starlight. We’ve never been there before, so we made sure to get there early. It wasn’t that cold, at least for an Ontario night in December, which was a good thing because we had to wait an hour until we finally saw Foley get there. Apparently the promoter was late in getting him. Once it hit 8pm (the scheduled start of the show), we were finally let into the building. The crowd didn’t seem too upset about waiting outside although there were some signs of crankiness. There were probably 250-300 people in the club. They had chairs set up in the front. The six of us found a table to his left, right in the front.
Before Foley came out, the host was a local comedian named Rob Mailloux (@RobMailloux) and when he was done another local comedian named Dylan Gott (@DylanGott) had a set. They each got about 20 minutes before Foley came out at around 9:15pm. Both guys were pretty good with Rob’s best being jokes about being adopted and Dylan going into a routine about how he looked like a computer nerd even though he barely knew anything about computers. No offense to either guy, but we wanted Foley. We waited an hour for him outside. Then we waited an hour inside for him. At least they were nice enough to admit that they knew it.
At the 9:15pm mark, Mick Foley came out to a big ovation and those very familiar “Foley, Foley” chants. I’d seen him wrestle in person about 8-10 times, but never have I been that close. He’s a big guy obviously, taller than you might expect too. Early in his set, Foley did a good job of interacting with the crowd. It was obvious early on it was full of dedicated wrestling fans who followed his career. He noticed stack of books we had on our table (I brought his second memoir “Foley is Good”) and joked that we brought all of his books. No Mick, we didn’t bring “Countdown to Lockdown” although my friend Drew was probably the only one with Tietam Brown. Ten minutes into the act, he was looking for a good chair to sit on to take a break. There was one right by us, so I handed it to him. No, he didn’t smack me in the back with it. If he did, though, I damn sure would have sold it.
One of the ongoing bits during the show involved Foley talking to an attractive woman in the audience because when he asked who wasn’t a wrestling fan, she was one of the few in the club to raise her hand. He went on to encourage her to google the words “Hell in a Cell” “Hardcore Legend” and “feminist” to see if his name came up. Later she said she did and his interactions with her the rest of the night were cool. I thought he did an excellent job of making the audience feel like a part of the show. That’s a key to doing standup comedy. Obviously he’s got a lot of experience talking in front of the crowd, so he definitely felt at home too. Audience interaction is key. He played off of us well.
Regarding his WWE return, he mentioned how great it was to be on Raw a couple of weeks ago. He mentioned that the “This is your life” segment with John Cena was intentionally bad. He referred to the over the top, cheesy theme song and how Cena was a good sport through all of it. I understand why he wanted the segment to be bad – to build up Rock coming out to hit the Rock Bottom of him – I just don’t agree that it was the best way to bring back Foley after three years of being away.
Among the jokes were remarks ripping on TNA although not too hard. Every time he mentioned it though, it did garner major laughs. One of the funnier jokes was when he told a story about the time he got to motorboat TNA Knockout Velvet Sky, as ordered by Bully Ray, while at a house show in Germany. He noted the crowd wasn’t too big, but that the dozens that saw it are his witnesses. (Note to Mick: I’m trying to get your name to show up any time somebody types “motorboat” in Google). He mentioned to me later that he had only started telling that joke a couple of nights ago. He asked me if I thought it worked. I said definitely yes and also told him that he really is a lucky man.
I enjoyed hearing Mick talk about the infamous Hell in a Cell 1998 match with Undertaker. I’ve read his books and seen him talk about the event many times, but I didn’t mind hearing it again. He even ventured into the political world, talking about his efforts during the Obama campaign, which he found a way to tie into the HIAC match. I won’t give it away, but it was one of the funnier moments. Let’s just say a woman opened a door and called him a name he’s never been called before. That probably drew the most laughs.
The funniest aspect of the whole show was how many “F bombs” Foley dropped. I don’t mean the word Foley here, I mean “fuck.” He mentioned only using the word as an action verb, but as a writer myself I can confirm that he also used it as an adjective to describe certain female body parts as well as relating them to world peace. Let’s just say that bit was my favorite one because the way he melded those things together was comedic genius! In the car ride home, that was the first item up for discussion. After the show, I told two wrestling people I know about the show, specifically mentioning all the times he said “fuck.” I swear to God, both of them said they’d known Foley for year and never heard him say the word once in his life.
To wrap it up (we booed Rob when he gave him the “go home” sign), he brought out “Stone Cold Steve Austin” to act out what Karate Kid would be like if Mr. Miyagi’s occupation was running a seedy massage parlor with Stone Cold as his protégé. Playing Stone Cold was somebody who you might know from WWE’s Attitude Era, Jason Sensation. He’s from Toronto, so he joined Mick for a couple of shows on the tour and did a great impression of Stone Cold. The bit was pretty funny, albeit a bit bizarre with a twisted sense of humor, but Foley did well in his Miyagi while Jason did an excellent impression of Stone Cold. I never thought I’d see Mick Foley on a stage yelling, in a Mr. Miyagi voice, “work the shaft” as much as he did during this ended, but it was damn funny.
When it was over, he let us ask him a few questions. I didn’t really know what to ask. I’ve read and seen so many interviews of his over the years that I had a hard time coming up with anything original. I knew the show was running late and this was his fourth night in a row in Ontario with Buffalo on his agenda on Sunday. Most of the questions were people asking Jason Sensation to do more imitations. The most popular impression was the one of Owen Hart, which brought back a lot of memories. One guy asked Foley if he thought he could end The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak. He said that he didn’t think he was a candidate to do that, but if asked perhaps it would be something to consider. Personally I don’t think Foley will be Undertaker’s opponent at WrestleMania, but I can see why people ask because as Foley mentioned he had a good record against Taker.
After the show was over, Mick signed autographs and took photos with fans in the lobby. Watching him walk from the stage to the lobby area was painful because he had a significant limp to his walk. I know his knees are really bad. To see it up close like that was tough to see, but that’s the price you have to pay sometimes. It’s part of the reason why we love the guy so much. They were selling his t-shirt also, so some people picked up those. We formed a line and I waited my turn along with my buddies. Steve and one of the Eric’s (there were two guys named Eric) were near the front of the line because they were peeing their pajamas in excitement. When it was my turn, I gave him Foley a big “heyyyyyy” as if I was The Fonz or something. Google him, kids. I’ve had some minimal contact with Foley through Twitter ever since I wrote about him in June. We exchanged a brief hug. I showed him the TJR shirt immediately and we struck up a conversation as if we were old friends. I thanked him for the years of work he put in the ring to entertain us, as well as for his books and the charity work he does with the RAINN organization. He asked me if I thought he made a few too many jokes at the expense of TNA. I said no and that they were deserved for the way they mistreat some talent there. He also explained that he couldn’t receive Twitter messages on his phone, so he didn’t know I was tweeting him. We exchanged a few more words about some things in the business, I got him to sign the book, we snapped a photo and I shook his hand one last time. He asked me if I’d be writing about the experience. I promised him that I would. Apparently I was talking to him four minutes as my friends pointed out. What can I say? Time flies when talking to the Hardcore Legend. He didn’t want me to leave! I promised him I’d write about the night and share him the link, so if you’re in the Twitter world I’m sure you’ll be seeing me shilling it just like Foley would want.
There were many highlights of being in attendance to see Mick Foley’s Hardcore Comedy Tour. As fans, we aren’t often afforded the chance to meet these larger than life performers up close. I’ve been watching Foley wrestle for twenty years. I have seen countless interviews, read his first two books and have supported his charity work as much as I possibly could. My admiration for Mick Foley is immeasurable. I can’t put it into words. Without guys like him I doubt I’d be the fan that I am today. He’s the kind of guy that brings a good name to the wacky world of professional wrestling. Being able to shake his hand and tell him that to his face was one of the highlights of my life as a wrestling fan. For $25, it was worth the price of admission easily. If you have the opportunity to see him on stage, make it a priority to go. You won’t regret it.
Thank you Mr. Foley for the hard work you’ve done in your wrestling career. I can assure you that our night out at Mick Foley’s Hardcore Comedy Tour lived up to expectations.
For more on Mick Foley’s upcoming appearances, his charitable work and more please visit RealMickFoley.com.
The Mick Foley Hardcore Comedy Tour Experience
By Steve “The Melo Man” Melo
Hello wrestling fans. The Melo Man here and I basically just got in from a night of epic proportions which is strongly attributed to the fact that I just seen Mick Foley’s Hardcore Comedy live and in person. I’d be lying if I told you that I didn’t mark the fuck out when I saw him because quite frankly I am still marking out over here and it feels great. I also got to meet that John Canton guy again, which was okay too I suppose. He’s alright.
We arrived in Waterloo, Ontario at 7pm and waited in line for an hour because the doors didn’t open till 8pm. Smooth move reading the fine print on my part I suppose. Anyways, as we were waiting, Canton pointed out that Mick Foley just drove by in his rental car while giggling like an excited little school girl. Okay, I added the school girl part for comic relief, but his face did light up like a Christmas tree. I just stood there like an idiot yelling, “Where? WHERE? Dammit I don’t see him!” It was real to me in that moment. The doors then opened and we made our way in and managed to snag some front row seating. We grabbed some drinks and eagerly waited for the show to begin while at the same time eagerly awaiting for the presence of the Hardcore Legend himself, Mick Foley.
First out was some kid named Rob. I am not 100% sure though. My brain only remembered the important and funny moments and this guy was just basically out there to warm up the crowd. I’ll give the guy credit, he was pretty funny and had me laughing at most of his jokes and wrestling references. Next up after him was a guy who in his own words claimed to be the personification of a computer geek who knew nothing about computers. His name was Dylan. He was funnier than the first guy as he made fun of himself for most of his gig. Making fun of yourself is always good for a few laughs.
Once that guy finished, it was the moment of truth. The reason we were all there. Mick Foley himself came out to a loud ovation of Foley chants. It was unreal! Not so much the crowd chanting but the fact that he was literally standing just a few feet away from us. It was quite a moment seeing him finally live and in person. I definitely felt like a 14 year old teenager again, minus the erection. Wait, did I just type that? Play it cool Melo Man, play it cool. Anyways, he started off the show and one of the first things he did was point to the pile of books on our table and said something along the lines of “Crap, I’m going have to sign those after the show aren’t I?” That made us laugh pretty damn hard and mark out in hardcore fashion at the same time. He continued to do his gig and like any entertainer, he had that audience in the palm of his hand, constantly laughing and having a good time. At one point during the show, he said he knew this is supposed to be stand up and all, but he needed to have a seat. He then realized how ridiculously small the stool was that was provided for him and said “Seriously? They want me to sit on this thing?” That was great. But then came the highlight of John Canton’s life. He pointed to a nearby vacant audience chair by him and Foley said “Sweet. Hand it over” to which John did with a huge smile on his face, and I don’t blame him. He literally just handed the Hardcore Legend Mick Foley a freakin’ chair! That bastard. He is always one step ahead. Well played Canton. Besides all the jokes, he also told some great wrestling stories which were pretty sweet to hear. The whole show had the audience in stitches! It was awesome stuff! We were honored to have been a part of it.
The show then ended and Foley stayed after to take photos and sign autographs. When it was my turn, I got all cluster fucked and was at a loss for words, but did manage to say thank you for everything you have done for us fans over the years right before snapping a picture. That made my night complete.
Canton was up next. Remember when I said handing the chair was the highlight of John’s life? I’m pretty sure this topped it because Foley acknowledged the fact that he knew who he was and he had read his column about Foley from June. They proceeded to talk for a good 4 minutes, stalling the line up. I could call him a bastard again because I only got 30 seconds along with everyone else, including my buddy Eric, but instead I will just say well done Canton. Well done. All jokes aside, he is an amazing writer and it was great to see him being recognized and appreciated from one of the best ever in the business they both love so much. I’m sure it is just the start of more great moments to come for that magnificent bastard of a writer.
In closing, we didn’t go see a wrestling show. We went to go see a comedy show. We didn’t go see two guys in a battle of good versus evil inside a squared circle, but one man, one legend who has given the fans everything he has and is part of the reason we still call ourselves wrestling fans. We saw this one man speak his mind, tell us stories and make us laugh. Mick Foley, if you are reading this, to you I simply say with my utmost respect… Thank you. Thank you for all the memories and for giving me a new one. It was an honor and a pleasure. Have a nice day!
Steve “The Melo Man” Melo
John: We’ll leave you with some photos from the event with Foley on stage along with Jason Sensation as Stone Cold. As you can see, Mick really dressed up for the occasion! Haha. Thanks for the entertaining night, Mick. We’ll never forget it.
Thanks for reading.
John Canton – firstname.lastname@example.org
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